I know it may seem a little strange, but you absolutely can explore this with strangers. Actually, it may even be easier. And there is no need to get naked or sexy. Let me explain why...

The way we relate intimately is an extension of how we learned to relate to our parents. Yep. How did your parents rolemodel to you how to express or suppress what you want and don’t want? And what did you learn about how to respond to the expectations, desires, need and boundaries of others?

The quality of our relationships is determined by how we take responsibility for what we want and don’t want: The more we respect and act out our truth, the more joy and pleasure we experience. It all boils down to the choices we make.

Most of the time we’re not aware of our decisions because they happen by default. The blueprint decides for us, unless we become aware and choose consciously. And this is important: We can’t make a choice when we’re unaware that we even have one.  

At the retreat, we practice becoming aware of what we want and don’t want, and how to make agreements about what’s going to happen based on that.

This is what let’s us become free of our default patterns, and embody more of who we really are as relational beings.

The beauty of exploring with strangers is easier in many ways because we’re not tied to any history about how we usually interact with them. Strangers don’t know our blueprints, so every new encounter is a beautiful opportunity to try something new. So come on and get in there with awareness of what true for you, and see what happens when you honor that 100 %.

What kind of touch you engage in (if any!) is entirely up to you. The choosing of what feels right for you is what matters.  

This is about you honoring your truth, and for some, that may mean no touch at all.  Saying no to touch and learning to be ok with that is exactly what they need to practice now. For others it may mean that they engage in clothed touch or unclothed touch.  

If you engage in touch during the sessions at this retreat, it will be non-sexual. That means no touching of genitals.

The focus will be on the noticing of what you want, and making an agreement about what’s going to happen based on that. Here are some examples:

Perhaps you want your hand to be held for a few minutes.

Perhaps you want someone to massage the tender spots in your feet.

Perhaps you are willing to stroke someone’s arm, or give them a hug, or stand back to back leaning your weight into theirs.

Pleasure can be many things. Physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual. Pleasure is only available to us when we feel safe.

For some, pleasure is a charged word because it’s something they think they should be feeling. It becomes something to strive towards. And anything we think we should be experiencing makes us feel unsafe and it distracts us from focusing on what we are actually experiencing.

I focus on enjoyment because it encompasses everything that there is to enjoy.

Each time you expand your ability to relate with another person as your authentic Self, you reclaim a piece of your birthright: The right to be and to live as you. My goal is to support you in getting there, and to hold space for your experience, which may be a whole cocktail of things to enjoy. You might feel free, euphoric, elated, touched, proud at honoring your integrity, taller, more soft, more safe in the world. And there may be grief for all the times you missed out, which lets you know that you have arrived where you longed to be all those times. When we embrace grief in this way, it adds to our enjoyment.  

Yes! 

You are welcome as you are! 

This is a place to name the power dynamics that are in place but which aren't necessarily visible to everyone. 

Everyone will be invited to share their preferred pronouns so that as a group we can affirm the identity of everyone in our interactions. 

It doesn't really matter. This retreat is designed so that all you need to bring is yourself. 

If you are single, great!

If you are in a relationship and your partner stays at home, great! 

If you arrive with your partner, great!